Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Think it’s impossible to have it all? Think again

Do you believe the concept of success at work and at home is a myth? Turns out that while many of us are making great progress on the career front, 70% of women now say it's impossible to have it all.

"When it comes to thriving in our lives, so many women lack the knowledge, tools and support they need to show up in a way that makes a difference to their wellbeing," Megan Dalla-Camina, My Agenda coach, career strategist and best-selling author of Getting Real About Having It All, explained when we recorded this podcast about practical strategies to help women thrive at work.

Having spent most of her career "striving and driving", Dalla-Camina found applying the latest science on human flourishing in small steps was the key to shift from functioning to flourishing.

"For me it started with improving my general wellbeing. Small changes like taking five minutes each day to meditate, reaching for a green juice instead of a coffee, getting up each morning for walk. These were the small shifts that started to remove the greyness and restore the colour to my world.

"They gave me the energy to then start using my strengths more at work – those things I liked doing and was good at – and to start challenging the beliefs that undermined my confidence," she said.

If these changes sound too small to have any real impact, the research of Professor BJ Fogg in how human behaviour works suggests Dalla-Camina is on the right track.

Having discovered that each of our actions is fueled by three components – our underlying motivation, the ability to complete the particular action and a trigger that provokes the action – Fogg urges people to create lasting changes by building tiny habits.

You see success builds momentum, so rather than setting goals that cause you to overreach and fall short around improving your confidence, mindsets, strengths or wellbeing Dalla-Camina recommends the following three steps:

Follow your energy – focus on the ideas you're most drawn towards. Notice what sparks your interests, ignites your hopes and motivates you to try. It doesn't matter where you start, you just need to show up and try something.

Start small - pick a tiny step to get started. It might be one minute of meditation. Or five minutes to speak up in a meeting and share an idea with confidence. Perhaps even ten minutes to complete your strength survey at

And then repeat. Just like eating one piece of broccoli doesn't suddenly make you healthy, doing one tiny habit won't suddenly help you thrive. Make it easy to repeat by anchoring it an existing routine in your life that will act like a trigger. For example getting out of bed, turning on your computer, grabbing your lunch, packing up your desk. Think "After I (routine), I will (tiny behaviour)".

Once you're done celebrate immediately. Give yourself a tiny thrill to reward your behaviour so you'll want to do it again and again. Tick it off the list, pat yourself on the back and tell yourself "well done".

Ask for support – It's easier to make lasting changes when we we're doing it others to share our knowledge, give each other feedback and hold each other accountable. Ask a friend, colleague or family member to take the journey with you. Seek out a coach to help you find the rhythm that will make you changes sustainable. Or find your tribe through a program like Positive Leadership for Aspiring Women.

"Whether your working for someone else or for yourself, give yourself the permission to do the tiny things that will make the biggest difference and make them a priority each day," Dalla-Camina explained.

To listen to the full podcast click here - located in the original article. 

Want to get real about having it all so you can consistently thrive? Grab the first chapter of Megan's book at

By: Michelle McQuaid
First published: 20th June 2014

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Michelle and Megan run an amazing program for women in business - the workshop and supplementary support is outstanding and I have seen real benefits from being a participant and could not recommend it more highly - my career and home life is flourishing :)